You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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