Operation Purity has been aborted
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
