So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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