a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
