how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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