he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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