hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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