I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
