i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
