Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm just crazy horny about you
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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