I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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