She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
