apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
