But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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