Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
