i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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