A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize