Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
