just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Dear god my vagina.
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