Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
