I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
