A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I bet he comes in French.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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