Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
