absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
