so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
