making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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