I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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