I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
