i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
