I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
