You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's official drugs can't kill me
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
