Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
