think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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