Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
