I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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