Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize