dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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