Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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