the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
