But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
