I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
