Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
