he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
smell my finger.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize