SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Is it penis luge time yet?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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