Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
