Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
