Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
