she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
