I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize