So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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