Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
