Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
