i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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