i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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