You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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