Will you blow on my dice?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize