Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I intend to get homeless drunk
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
