Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
