dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
How external is "for external use only"?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
