i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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