All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
