the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
